It's so hideous I made him take a better picture of me. I sat up and put on my best pondering face and told him to send it. This is what I got:
"That's how it came out," he says, and I pretended to laugh a little so he wouldn't know I was inwardly spiraling out of control wondering if I magically look like this all the time even when I don't (and it's like THAT'S why I don't fit in any of my pants anymore), like in that How I Met Your Mother episode about Barney always looking perfect even when they take a picture of him sneezing but I am the alternate universe version where I'm ugly Barney but then he sent me the real pic, and this is what it REALLY looked like:
Which is much better.