So today we celebrated our third anniversary (even though it was on the 17th) because I was in Mexico on that day, Puerto Vallarta to be exact. We made pancakes for breakfast and I put together a picnic lunch and we ate in the park and walked around and then we came home and hung out then made spaghetti with meatballs and garlic bread and watched Sorcerer's Apprentice because that was the first movie we watched together and then he goes "I want to give you your gift but I need twenty minutes." So I go "...Oh...kay..." and I go wait in the car and watch Gilmore Girls and holy shit they're filming at The Sea Sprite Motel in Redondo Beach, my FUCKING BACKYARD as a kid and I'm like we're basically related now and then he comes and gets me and I'm looking around the house going "Well nothing's changed...and it's definitely still a mess" and he goes "You can sit there" and he sits in his chair and he picks up his acoustic guitar. So I'm like staring at him and he starts playing and I recognize the tune. It's "Amber" by 311, our song, and it's so beautiful and I'm so excited and he starts singing. Singing. I have never heard him sing before. Ever. I sing all the time. I sing along to songs, I sing in the shower, I sing when I have my headphones in, even when other people are around, I don't care, I have a terrible voice, whatever, I fucking sing that shit. I have been with my boyfriend for thee years. And I have never heard him sing. And he's fucking singing. And it's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. And he stops playing and he looks at me bashfully and he goes "Sorry that was bad, I'm nervous." So then I say "Why have I never heard you sing..." and he proceeds to explain that he's super shy about it and self-conscious, like so much so that he would lock himself in his closet so no one heard him, and he always makes sure there's other noises going on just in case people walking by would hear him. And this story broke my heart. He has an amazing voice, he's so incredibly talented, but even if he wasn't, who cares? If he likes to sing, sing. Don't be ashamed, don't be timid and shy. You need to own that shit. And that's exactly what I told him. And then I made him play it two more times. My point/moral of the story, is you are all gifts to this world. In some form or another. Whether other people see it or not, you have so much to offer. Even if you're the only one who thinks so. Own your shit, people. If you like to sing but you suck at it, you own at sucking at singing. Don't be ashamed. Because who cares? Do what makes you happy. And be good at it.
Unless of course it's murdering people. In which case don't murder people. That's illegal. And downright awful. Use a different outlet. Like we just watched Little Shop of Horrors and you can be like Steve Martin's character, the dentist. He liked screwed up shit and he channeled it through the art of dentistry. Or be like Dexter and kill only bad people. Whatever. I don't know. Shut up. It was just so beautiful, hearing him sing. It was like I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time. It was unbelievable.
So I ended up not following through with my plan. Instead I designed two more covers:
I like The Painter's cover, and sometimes I like The Magic Show's, sometimes I don't, so we'll see if that changes any time soon.
So here's where I am: I've been thinking about it, and it takes approximately $50+ to publish one book. Because this is the system: Have it printed; that's ~$10. Edit; order final proof: ~$10. If I don't like it: make changes, order other proof, ~$10. Order hard copy: $25+. And this is all being funded by a twelve hour a week work schedule. At an Einstein's. Where I receive minimum wage. So that's about a $200 paycheck every two weeks. When I have to buy groceries and other necessities. So. I have published MOPH, which cost...let's see, I made three proofs, and then a hard copy--ooh but the hard copy was free. And then there was AYW which was two proofs and you know what, I think I'm going to edit that cover after all, because I got kind of a screwed up copy. So I'm going to go back in and change that before I forget.
Okay there we go. SO here's where I am: I'm probably going to limit my book making to one book a paycheck, or maybe one book a month. Maybe a book a month. And since I've hardly worked at all due to my neck and trip, it'll have to be put off a few weeks. BUT that also means good news: I get to write! I've been in aggressive book making mode, now I can retreat back to my comfortable corner and finally write. I can't even remember the last time I wrote Witches...
Look at this baby.
Every day around 3 or 4 we get sun coming through this window for about an hour. Celia has started to catch on to that and this is how we found her today, just chillin' up against the sliding glass door. I mean seriously. Such a little lady.
At least I'm assuming it's a him. Check it:
There was an art auction on the ship so me and my mom walked around looking at everything and this is it: the painter. This is the artist I need to paint a shit ton of pictures of Miranda Kerr for the movie adaptation of The Painter. It is seriously so beautiful, I told my mom to buy it for me but she didn't. The name I think said "Pine," but I typed it into Google and can't find anything. So I'm going to do a more thorough search.
Here's just a few pics. I have a grand total of 118 but I didn't have internet so taking pictures and playing with filters on Instagram was all I was able to do. So here are just some main ones, the first two were taken in Puerto Vallarta, the next two were on Stone Island in Mazatlan, and then the last pic is obviously Cabo. We also walked around San Pedro since that's where we boarded our cruise, and then we stayed in Long Beach before heading back to LAX and went to see the Queen Mary, Aquarium of the Pacific, and Shoreline Village. It was a really nice trip, and, bonus: I'm still alive.
In writing news: I will probably get back to work on my books, but I'm not sure when that will happen. I'm still not all here. And I'm still swaying. And since our third anniversary was during my trip, we have to figure out what we want to do and stuff. But I'll keep you posted.
Mexico, here I come! Have fun in America, peasants. So I had so much stuff to do I'm not sure if I'll be able to make my book goals. I wanted to be done editing Get Sloane and order its final copy as well as TSAM and TBOE so they can be ready for me when I get back but I think I'll only be able to have two of the four done. Because we're going to be watching Airplane! in honor of my travels. I always watch it before a plane trip. I watched it before I went to Italy and Greece and now it's just what I do. I wanted to watch The Fifth Element in honor of my cruise (you know, for Fhloston Paradise) but again I just had too much to do. I don't know. Maybe I'll be able to get it all done after all tonight. We'll see.
Two more days. Till I'm headed to the land of luxury and magic. I. Am. So. Ex. Cited. And I can be because I am about to pick up my recently refilled prescription for my annoying neck. So I should be able to actually ENJOY my well deserved vacation. Since I pretty much haven't had a life the past 5 1/2 years. This is going to be so amazing. Sailing on the ocean, having drinks, sitting in pretty outfits (which I carefully picked out a week ago), where it's socially acceptable to just sit there and relax. And then we'll be in Mexico. Where we will zipline and snorkel and shit. I'm so excited. A trip that'll only happen once. Because I won't do it again.
So my second post on Silly Short Sunday is up and I'm thinking I might post my third on Thursday since I can't that Sunday because I will be in Mexico. And hopefully still alive. But we'll see if I remember. I might be too drugged with anti-anxiety meds. We'll see.
Got my two packages! "Get Sloane" I've already updated, AYW, however, I noticed I bolded my name when I didn't in the first proof...and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I look at the unbolded name and love it, look at the new proof I'm iffy, put the two together I like the unbolded one, but maybe it'll grow on me, I don't know. It's not too bad. Right? Not too big of a difference. We'll see what Boyfriend says.
Here is the cover for the third book. This one focuses on, well, obviously, Eli, so I brought his personality (or lack thereof) into the cover. Which makes me like the "There's Something About Mia"cover more because it also reflects her personality, and you can see how much they differ; Mia is all over the place with sporadic colors and fonts and sizes and Eli is super formal like a college paper, where there's lots of rules.
So the overall plan is to have these individual books available on their own, because until I finish the fourth and final book I can't make a collected compilation of them all. And since I don't see that happening really anytime soon, I thought this was the best idea.
Here's my cover idea for "There's Something About Mia":
This one is more centered on Mia and the many men interested in her, so I wanted it more girly. We'll see what other ideas I may come up with though. I'll keep you posted.
Yesterday I started designing some quote pictures, just as something fun to do while I wait for my books to come (AYW and Get Sloane should be here Saturday!!) and here are a few so far:
So those are fun. Maybe I'll get more creative in the future but I like how they look. And. Now I'm going to nap. I got seven hours of sleep yesterday and today I got a good amount but I had to work at 10, so I didn't get to lay in bed for an hour waking up. And that's what I do. Also, it's been so cold these past few days but my boyfriend won't let me touch the thermostat so it's been equally cold inside, our water bottles feel like we just took them out of the fridge. And we didn't. They're room temperature. Crazy. But here's where I leave you. Good night.
Despite my fears and paranoia I am super excited to be going on a cruise. Who wouldn't be? I already packed all my dresses (far left), and we went to Plato's Closet yesterday and I bought another super cute one that I'm SO in love with. It reminds me on Rachel McAdams's dresses in The Notebook (my favorite movie, but you knew that). I feel so Allie Hamilton when I wear it.
And the rest are old pictures, but I needed to share them because they're just so doggone cute. The one second to the left is the family cat, Cat, holding my hand and comforting me. That day I was snowed into Fort Collins and couldn't get to Denver and therefore couldn't be with my babies. And was very upset. But Cat was good at consoling me. He's totes adorbs. But yeah, you do see his claw digging into my arm right there and his love does hurt a little. The rest are of one of the two family dogs, Benji. NOTHING is safe in that house, nothing can be on the ground, or he will chew it. He's only one, he's only a puppy. So what was happening in these two pics are I had gathered all of my things to leave but ended up not (since I was snowed in), and I walk in and Benji's chewing on my plastic case. I yank it away, put it back where it should be, walk into the kitchen, come back, and he's chewing on something else he shouldn't be, all comfortable on the couch. He's such a little chew monster but he's so fucking cute you can never be mad at him. I mean seriously, look at that face.
So, a few things: the insufferable neck pain is coming back. Just on the other side. Which I'm not happy about. You may recall me being in a lot of pain. Well. You're right. Needless to say I'm a little annoyed and scared and anxious because I don't even know what caused it in the first place. Everyone keeps telling me it's stress, and I learned today from my coworker that when you're stressed, your body releases a hormone or something that causes pain somewhere or something, I don't know, she was talking really quietly. Another possibility is my pillow. Another could be my brittle bird bones. So I've acquired a memory foam neck contoured pillow, some calcium pills to strengthen my hollow paper skeleton, so that leaves one thing yet to be resolved: stress. And I don't see that happening any time soon, especially not when this is about to happen:
Yes, you read right, I'm stressed about going on vacation. As a graduation present, my mom booked us a cruise to Mexico. We'll be flying to LA, then we'll be on a cruise headed for Puerto Vallarta and Mazatlan and I think Cabo, and we'll zipline and swim with the fucking dolphins and shit, I think ride fucking horses on the beach, I don't know, she booked a bunch of excursions, like holy crap why would you be stressed about anything in life if you were about to do that in nine days??? Well. Let me tell you: Planes. Ships. Possibly pirates. I am freaking out about the plane. I don't fancy plane rides. Not my cup of tea. It hurts to go so high and then come down so low, my head is in pain for like 24 hours. Also the possibility of death. Ships: have we not learned from Titanic? STAY OUT OF THE FUCKING WATER, IT MIGHT SINK AND THEREFORE WE SHALL DIE. But, I do keep reminding myself that there's no icebergs in the Pacific. And I think we won't be too far from shore so we could probably swim to safety. Probably not, but that's what I keep telling myself. Also. Sharks. Pirates. Ooh maybe mermaids! I don't know. I'm just saying that's probably where this neck pain is coming from again. So. Shit. BUT I do deserve a vacation. For five and a half years I haven't had money because of school; I've always been broke. I've been doing what I don't particularly want to do. I never do anything for myself...I've never had the money to do anything for myself, I deserve this. So hopefully I survive. Because I want to get married. And have babies. Named Eloise, Nolan, and Milo. And put Eloise in ballet.
So I'm sitting here formatting the second installation in The Mia Sloane Chronicles, "There's Something About Mia," and I'm just shaking my head thinking of all the rejection letters, reflecting on my experience with agents, editors, and small publishers, and I realize: I write amazing shit. I really do. The people who passed me up: I could have made you so much money. I could've made you famous.
I had about a half-hour break. I made rice. And then ate it. And then designed my "Get Sloane" cover:
It's a spy series, so it's supposed to look all ominous. I like it. But you know me, I might change my mind later on.
So my AYW paperback is on its way, and if that checks out then I'll order the hardcover, and I just ordered my first proof of Get Sloane so, things are happening. And a lot faster this time, since I got the basics straightened out with MOPH.
AYW is now in eBook form, and I think I need a break. I've published two books now in three different formats, and as exciting and fun and a little grueling as it all may be, I should take a break. I should write again; I haven't written since I started publishing my projects. And I'm like 3/4 done with Witches. And I miss it. But it'll be hard to make myself concentrate on writing when I have more to finally publish. It's just too exciting when I do it, because some of these are years old. Well. I'd better do laundry, anyway. That's a good break, right? Then I can start thinking about "Get Sloane"...
"I've Taken Your Cat" is now posted in Silly Short Sunday. It's a fan favorite, so I thought it was only right to be the first post. It got published in Stinkwaves Magazine in May, and I have one other that got published on Every Writer's Resource called "The Fortune Teller" only shortly before, and then I got bored and just stopped submitting them.
In terms of AYW, fear not, I'm working on the eBook as we speak and should be available today! Wow! Much excite!