Last night the bf said he was going to eat a pear. Having just ate one, and the fact that I know he hates any fruit that's not in season or juicy and soft, I said, "Don't, they're hard. You're not gonna like it." So he studies the fruit bowl a while, then goes, "Then a nectarine." To which I replied the same thing: "Don't. They're hard. You're not gonna like it." Then he says he wants to and then I say try it. Sure enough, he takes a bite and doesn't like it. Then I say "See? Now you just wasted a whole nectarine." Then he says I can have it, but I already had one. Then he proceeds to panic and not know what to do, when I say "I'll eat it later," so he goes to put it back in the bowl. "Put it in a baggie!" I exclaim, shaking my head. Then we watch WD. Fast forward to this morning: this is what I see. Now, I understand I didn't specify to put it in the fridge, but I seriously did not think I had to.
Jesus Christ, who does that? Dumbass.
I complained to Food Network. They don't play my shows anymore, just dumbass stupid ass stupid shows that suck and are stupid.
Hopefully they listen.
One of my regulars asked if I wanted a burger. I said no, so he brought me back two apple pies. That's the best logic ever.
I see this ad while surfing Reddit every night at work and wonder who searched "lingerie" and/or "s & m" while working. Hmmmmmmm...who it be?
Bf had to work, but we had a plan: Panda Express after work at 8, dessert, unseen before $5 love movie from Walmart, sexy time. Part one, however, consisted of me picking up the kid sis from bball and hanging out with her until then. But before I left, I made up the coffee table:
With little Star Wars valentine's because bf.
Mom made us spaghetti and meatballs, choco dipped strawberries, and set out apple cider. Was amazeballs.
Then came home, saw this by the door:
Was excited, when bf came down the stairs, leading with "I don't know what happened," and presented me with a bunch of dead green sticks.
Needless to say, after a fifteen minute explanation about how confused he was about ordering, how the flowers themselves were $20, and delivery and other fees amounted to $20 extra, this mess turned out to be $50. I felt bad, but it was def the thought that counted in this sitch, even though I let him know $5 flowers from Walmart is really all I need. Anywho, I push him out the door, saying Panda closes at ten, it's nearing 9, and if we get there and they're all shut down and all the fucking orange chicken is gone he's going to be with a very upset honeyb, so we get there, I'm all excited, it looks empty, we head for the door, my eyes go directly to a note on the door, saying "Due to a shortage, we are out of orange chicken." Basically I threw a fit, I've been so excited about this visit for DAYS, so we had our Panda redemption today, after calling ahead and making sure they had orange chicken. Obviously.
Guest gave me this. We've had a group of Mexicans staying with us that don't speak English. The other day he offered to help me mop up a spill in the hallway. He then asked me, through google translate, to go to the bar that night and a party in Denver. Been seeing him pass the desk with his coworkers the past month, and today he brought me this balloon with google saying "Do you want to be my friend."
Then we high-fived and knuckle bumped. We're bros now.
Got this for me for Christmas. She knows I take too many medications I can't keep up: Synthroid, montelucast, magnesium, vitamin D, hormone support. It takes a good five minutes getting them all out of their containers so this is MAGICAL.