The bf wanted to go for a bike ride on his lunch break. This is how it went:
Me: "Hunny it's windy, this isn't a good time to go."
Him: "I want to go."
Me: "No, let's have lunch in the backyard."
Me: "It'll be nice. We'll sit in the sun while we eat."
Him: "No. I want to bike ride. While we eat."
Just realized I'm going to be 25 in 4 months. Makes me pretty sad. As not only have I gotten another year closer to death, 24 was basically nonexistent.
Coffee froyo. Caramel turtles. Mini chocolate chips. Bike riding. And I did a pullover. I think I pulled all my arm muscles in the process but it was worth it.
So once again I was sharing some share-worthy information with the bf, and it managed to make itself a very difficult task:
Me: "Hunny Rachel's friend said that if you're allergic to trees and grasses and bushes you should eat local honey so that you can be introduced to the allergens or whatever she said."
Him: Fifteen seconds of silence. "What?"
Me: (Sigh) "Local honey."
Him: "Like crazy honey?"
Me: "What? Why are you having so much trouble with this?"
Him: "What is loco honey?"
Needless to say, he's a hoot. But it does make me nervous for future serious conversations. And come to think of it, any time we argue he claims he can't understand what I'm saying and that I don't make sense. I think I just figured out why.
So above is Steven Yeun's Instagram post, who plays Glenn in WD, and as you can see there's a little bride emoji so I assumed he's engaged to the girl in the pic. Seeing this as interesting news as WD is our show and Glenn's my fave, I decided to share said news with the bf. But the convo turned out to be not as simple as I imagined it would. It actually went something like this:
Me: "Hunny I think Glenn's married."
Bf: "To Maggie?"
Me: "No, the real Glenn."
Bf: "Glenn Armstrong?"
Me: "No, the real actor who plays Glenn."
Bf: "Who's the real actor named Glenn? Glenn Sechrist?"
And he never fully grasped what I was saying and in the end I just gave up. What I want to know is why he would think I'd be talking about these obscure people I probably definitely have never heard of. Which I haven't.
And here's my assessment:
1. There are cheerleaders. Why? Can't tell you. I guess people derive spirit from their little shimmies and toe taps?
2. "We Will Rock You" is played shamelessly at every single sporting event every single time all of our lives forever and ever and always for infinity and beyond. It's beginning to turn into "Bohemian Rhapsody." PLEASE people who don't appreciate music and are just using songs that sound familiar to the average spectator STOP playing them all the fucking time or I'm going to have to hate one of my favorite bands.
3. National anthem. Why are we singing the national anthem? We are at a sporting event. That doesn't mean we're a bunch of communists and anarchy rebels. Or maybe we are, I don't know, but that's our business.
4. There are army people with guns holding the American flag. Why are there army people with guns holding the American flag? Refer to number 3 for further rant.
And she has to wear two bras. I wish I lived a life where I needed to wear two bras. #smallboobprobs
I dreamt I was dating Giada de Laurentiis but I left her because she was spending so much time making her sushi rolls and not giving me any attention. But she's hot so I'd do it all over again.
So we were driving on the freeway and I was gazing off thoughtfully out the window when I said:
"It's so sad some people choose to not have kids. Because it's like they're living a half life. The Property Bros are 37 and with no kids to my knowledge."
Because what else would I be thoughtfully gazing out the window about?
Bf: "Well they'll probably adopt, right? 'Cause they're a couple."
Crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets for like 45 seconds.
Me: "Hunny they're twin brothers."
When I left the doc's I forgot I put the brake on because I was parked on a hill, and when I drove a few miles I called the sis because she wanted me to after I had the results of my test and when she answered I spotted the brake light on my dash and told her to hang on and while I tried to take the brake off there was a car behind me and then a cup jammed under the arm so I couldn't undo it so I had to pull over and tell her I'd call her back but the phone was upside down so I couldn't hear her and she couldn't hear me and then I finally got my shit together but that was the biggest shitstorm of minor misfortunes I've had in a long time.
Got to wear a nice paper shirt and get stabbed by bits of plastic with allergens on the tips. It kind of actually really hurt. Turns out I am allergic to every tree, grass, and bush year round, no matter what dies and grows, I'm allergic to both cats and dogs, I may have a peanut allergy (which we're going to test) and wheat, and surprisingly I have zero allergies to dairy. All of it. Milk, yogurt, eggs, cheese. In the process of reintroducing eggs as we speak. Trying to stay occupied so I don't think I'm dying when I'm not. Wish my-hypochondriac-self luck.
I feel like me and the bf are basically Chip and Joanna Gaines. He's a ginger, and I can pass as Asian. Well; in certain lights he looks ginger. Okay, he's light haired. And white. And I'm . . . dark haired. And I think 1/36th Native American. I mean seriously. We're practically twins.
Benji is def a little bonehead like all the time (i.e. pick him up and he forgets where he was going and falls asleep), but today he somehow knew I was taking him on a walk. And this is what he did. Sometimes he can trick you into thinking he's a good boy.
Celia had to stand right in the way of Pineapple Express, there was a pretty sunset, and several papa caves.